Let’s talk about thin shaming.
Hi! My name is Amber. Normally I use this blog for cosplay tutorials and other fun stuff. But today we’re going to talk about something a little different. And I apologize… if this sounds a little personal… it’s because it is.
I’m extremely skinny. I know that. I can’t gain weight. Honestly, I’ve tried. My metabolism is too fast. It’s been like this my entire life. And I don’t really like to talk about it, because everyone always acts like “I’m so blessed because I’m skinny!” So I feel like I can’t say anything.
But it sucks. It sucks being this skinny most days. For one, I have to put away a LOT of food to keep my weight from dropping any lower. Second, if I go longer than 4 hours without food? I get dizzy, and risk passing out. So I have to be eating pretty much constantly throughout the day. Always planning out what snacks I need to make it from one meal to the next. Third? Shopping is hell. Stores don’t carry stuff in my size. Like, at all. Part of the reason I know how to sew is because I had to learn how to buy the smallest size at the store… and then take it in even further. I can’t give blood because it’s too risky. I am freezing cold in anything less than 85 degrees. Guess what my heating bill is like in the winter? And finally? I have to deal with the comments. Every. Single. Day. It never stops.
Which comments, you ask? These ones:
Posted on my Youtube channel 3 days ago:
“Less costume making and more food eating. The concentration camp look doesn’t do it for me.”
Posted in a Facebook group on my Poison Ivy photo was on this morning:
“Someone give that girl a sandwich!”
Someone replied to that comment:
“Or a burger lol. Seriously bones are not attractive in the slightest when poking through skin.”
They sting, especially since it’s not exactly something I have any control of. And no matter how thick your skin is, seeing the same negativity every single day… it starts to wear on you after a while.
And I know that many of you are trying to come from a good place when you say these things to me. I’ve had several people come to me out of concern that I may have an eating disorder. I understand their hearts are filled with love and they’re just trying to help a fellow human being.
To those of you with only good intentions? Thank you. Truly, I appreciate your love and concern. Allow me to reassure you, that I’m just fine. There’s no eating disorder. I’m just skinny. It’s fine. But more importantly… I want you to understand that even though you mean well… your words hurt. And even if I did have an eating disorder… do you think that some random stranger making a public comment on the internet is suddenly going to fix me? If I did have an eating disorder… don’t you think that kind of thing might just make my issues worse? I’m a very self-confident, empowered woman. And those comments damage MY self-esteem. Stop and think for a second what kind of effect those words would have on a woman who has serious self-esteem problems. Messages like that need to come from family/close loved ones, in private. Not blasted across the internet by random strangers. So while I thank you… I have to ask you to stop. It’s not helping. Not me, not anyone.
And to the trolls who just like making other people feel like shit, and see my weight as an easy target? …Well… you won’t be reading this anyway, because I blocked you ages ago. Bottom line is… if you don’t like what you see? Shut your mouth and move along. Plenty of other cosplayers of all shapes and sizes for you to go check out. Hopefully you’re nicer to them.
Body-shaming is wrong. It’s wrong when it’s fat-shaming, and it’s wrong when it’s thin-shaming, too. Women should be proud of how they look, no matter what their size or shape. We should be building each other up, supporting each other, cheering each other on. Not telling each other what your flaws are. It’s about time thin-shaming stopped, because it’s just as damaging as any other kind of body-shaming and I’ve had enough.
I want to make sure this is open for conversation though. So in the comments… feel free to ask me any questions. Share your experiences with me. Comment your thoughts. I’m going to be responding to each and every comment below, and anything goes. Don’t worry about offending me. The only way we learn is by seeking to understand, and being open/honest and sharing our thoughts together is the only way we get there.
Thank you for reading, and I love you all!